If you can't win with reason,
go for volume.

I've got plenty of common sense!
I just choose to ignore it.

Where do we keep all our chainsaws, Mom?

It's never so bad that it can't get worse.

People pay more attention when they think you're up to something.

I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.

Homework, I command thee,
BE DONE!

This one's tricky. You have to use imaginary numbers,
like eleventeen.

Life is full of surprises,
but never when you need one.

If people could put rainbows in zoos, they'd do it.

Van Gogh would've sold more than one painting if he'd put tigers in them.